Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
