Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers

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  (860): but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers http://tfl.nu/f9xh
  Replies (32) Good night (3049) Bad night (1319)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.

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  (508): dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced. http://tfl.nu/9kh7
  Replies (23) Good night (977) Bad night (8786)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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  (618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60
  Replies (59) Good night (2386) Bad night (8809)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

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  (206): Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year. http://tfl.nu/dota
  Replies (4) Good night (2969) Bad night (979)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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  (910): You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?" http://tfl.nu/kb6v
  Replies (12) Good night (5791) Bad night (1047)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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  (253): I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight. http://tfl.nu/4pnr
  Replies (12) Good night (3403) Bad night (978)
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  (845): View more from New York

  They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

  (1-845): View more from New York

  howd you meet them?

  (845): View more from New York

  They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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  (845): They were actually really boring considering how we met them. (1-845): howd you meet them? (845): They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs. http://tfl.nu/zyna
  Replies (18) Good night (4587) Bad night (989)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1641) Bad night (2112)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Order is debatable

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  (410): Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy (410): Order is debatable http://tfl.nu/gozm
  Replies (6) Good night (1448) Bad night (651)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.

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  (484): future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/vyz8
  Replies (9) Good night (1787) Bad night (596)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?

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  (940): Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork? http://tfl.nu/nrj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1153) Bad night (501)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.

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  (515): In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night. http://tfl.nu/3r48
  Replies (5) Good night (477) Bad night (1284)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.

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  (514): When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/fn7y
  Replies (12) Good night (1156) Bad night (330)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?

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  (610): My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date? http://tfl.nu/n22z
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (373)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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  (716): Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree http://tfl.nu/2wro
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (521)

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