She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before