Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

  (384): View more from

  How come?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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  (312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6
  Replies (29) Good night (583) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (572) Bad night (6058)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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  (606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4
  Replies (15) Good night (5634) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

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  (757): i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward http://tfl.nu/7d4o
  Replies (9) Good night (3419) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2787) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'

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  (954): They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home' http://tfl.nu/2uct
  Replies (4) Good night (2184) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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  (410): In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub http://tfl.nu/jeln
  Replies (5) Good night (2107) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

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  (515): He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend. http://tfl.nu/m6dn
  Replies (10) Good night (2911) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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  (214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1465) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1494) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"

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  (352): The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again" http://tfl.nu/25pr
  Replies (6) Good night (3697) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im coming down to miami this weekend

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  We shall drink from the everclear river

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  (330): Im coming down to miami this weekend (1-330): We shall drink from the everclear river http://tfl.nu/wehk
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

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  (989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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  (215): And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER http://tfl.nu/p5xk
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.

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  (970): The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese. http://tfl.nu/ftp9
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (583)

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