I bet he comes in French.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Someone shit on the floor
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.