her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub