Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
