who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me