I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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