We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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