So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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