I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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