:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize