I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
