Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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