sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I love you.
Bad choice
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
