they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
