Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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