If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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