$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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