i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
