I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize