I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Panties = found
Randomize
