sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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