I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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