That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
