I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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