Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
