If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
