Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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