What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
