Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
did i just pee glitter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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