to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am midnight drunk by noon
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize