Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Mom said you looked used
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
