Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
