so explain again why im purple
no
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
