What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.