sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
