We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
