there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
