you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
