South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
