Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
