If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
