i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
