I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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