dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't deserve a penis
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
