He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
