Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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