And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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