my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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