Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
