she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
