Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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