you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
