Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize