Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
