i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Alive.
So much puke
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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