oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
