So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
