my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
