you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
