FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize