i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
