dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never underestimate the power of titties
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
