Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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