just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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