Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
