I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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