chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
