I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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