...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So many bounce houses so little time
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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